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How do you get a hippo in the fridge?
You open the door, put the hipppo in and shut the door
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
You open the door, take the hippo out and put it in and shut the door
The Lion king calls a ceremony together, who doesn't attend
The giraffe,because it's in the fridge
You are about to cross a river where crocidiles live, how do get across?
You simply swim.... ....the crocodiles are at the ceremony
Things to do on an elevator:
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exit with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
Offer name tags to all the other passengers. Wear yours upside down.
When the elevator reaches a floor, pretend you're struggling to open the door. And when it opens, by itself, play embarrassed.
Murmur, "Have to pee, have to pee", then say "Oooppps!"
Scream out Geronimo every time the door opens.
When everything is quiet, ask "Who's cell phone is that?"
This is a true story of something that happened just a few years ago at USC. There was a professor of philosophy there who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester to prove that God couldn't exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic. Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever really gone against him because of his reputation. At the end of every semester on the last day, he would say to his class of 300 students,"If there is anyone here who still believes in Jesus, stand up!"In twenty years, no one had ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say,"Because anyone who believes in God is a fool. "If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from hitting the ground and breaking. Such a simple task to prove that He is God, and yet He can't do it."And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the classroom and it would shatter into a hundred pieces. All of the students would do nothing but stop and stare. Most of the students thought that God couldn't exist. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up! Well, a few years ago there was a freshman who happened to enroll. He was a Christian, and had heard the stories about his professor. He was required to take the class for his major, and he was afraid. But for three months that semester, he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said, or what the class thought. Nothing they said could ever shatter his faith...he hoped. Finally, the day came! The professor said, "If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!"The professor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the classroom. The professor shouted, "You FOOL!!! If God existed, he would keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!"He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor's jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man,and then ran out of the lecture hall! The young man who had stood, proceeded to walk to the front of the room and shared his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he told of God's love for them and of His power through Jesus.
